New Rules
The One About Lt. Ripley
If you read the news amongst the usual, everyday, doom scrolling, from time to time you’ve likely come across a story on how bad social media is for every part of life, which is always somewhat ironically read - on social media. And while this is absolutely true and many folks in my ecosystems are taking large breaks from phones and the unrealistic worlds living in them (I recently deleted Instagram and LinkedIn off of mine) - it’s important to remember that we curate our feeds.
Everything we watch, listen to and consume is because of everything we’ve watched, listened to and consumed - that’s how the algorithm works and like it or not, we’re all living in it. If you want more inspiration and laughs, you’re going to have to watch more cat videos then click bait news sites. While continually finding my own ways to detox from the social media machine, like the above moment of zen, I usually like most folks trade funny memes with the same four people on Instagram and before deleting the app from my phone so I can focus a product we’re launching at Aldea Hospitality in the coming weeks - I came across one of those memes, that I’ve seen before and resonates deeply with where we are in the capitalistic matrix and our current election cycle.
Alien came out in 1986, and given the rating and nature of the movie there was no way I was getting into the theater to see it. Like every other Gen X kid, I waited for it to come out on VHS and watched it at my neighbor’s house in the middle of a summer afternoon, while our mom’s were at work. Even watching it in daylight hours - the movie scared the bejeezus out of me, and long before I understood any kind of feminism - Lieutenant Ripley was something I hadn’t seen on the screen in such a heroic way, that still stands out today.
Like all memes - it’s funny, because it’s true and I got to thinking about why the good ol’ boys floating through space didn’t listen to Ripley, not only because it’s a fantastical story for the big screen and the big, drippy Alien in my eyes is clearly a metaphor for the capitalistic patriarchy spreading its goop on folks that never asked for it. But also, because she represents what a woman at that time looked like - busting her ass to gain knowledge and experience at ten times the rate of her counterparts to get a very small seat at the table, where she’s expected to be quiet and grateful for being there in the first place.
Lt. Ripley also represents a word we don’t often hear any more - she was a broad. If you’re sensitive to that word and think it’s disrespectful, this might be your exit. That term gets such a bad rap, still today. Ripley was a broad because she didn’t fit into any stereotypical girlie in a lab coat, with long blond hair and the right kitten heel shoes; plus she spoke her mind and knew how to fight. Women, then and still now are encouraged to do neither. I feel the same way about broads that I do corner bars - they’re rad.
It’s insane, that we are still fighting for the same equity and equality as Lt. Ripley1 - and how the meme easily fits in with a topic on defining new rules for how we live and work. Every single woman, in any industry - and definitely the one I know most about, restaurants, has been Ripley at one time or another.
I often get real nostalgic for the nineties, as well as the early to mid aughts around the restaurant industry. But here’s the other thing that mimics Lt. Ripley’s situation - for years there was only one very small seat at the table - for a white woman. Yes, now we say build another table after years of “progress” - and things have gotten a fraction better, for some. But most folks are simply clamoring for crumbs from an elite class that’s ready to co-opt our stories and maybe tell a fraction of them, while we continue to struggle in finding ways to sustain the creative middle class.
When I wrote Hey Chef - while it wasn’t specifically mentioned, it was for women, because men have had held the mic for what feels like an eternity2 and don’t hesitate to write online about anything - which isn’t the case for women.
One glimpse at a comments section, on any platform will prove why women are hesitant to do anything on the interwebs, especially if it veers from the patriarchal path of which we’ve all been conditioned. However, more women speaking up and telling their stories - makes more room for other women to do the same. So, the New Rules, while not exhaustive are a calling card for women to use their voice, in order to build a stronger community around topics that very few are writing about in hospitality ecosystems.
Music is magical in every way …
and I follow a lot of writers from that world on Substack. First, because of my own background with music and media. Second because so much of what’s happening in the music world, tracks to restaurants. Thanks to these folks for always inspiring my writing and a lot of the new rules listed beyond.
Herizon Music: a Midwest badass - with Austin ties too, Thea Wood gives us the goods on women in music, as well as the cultural impact of an industry that continues to cherish old ways and how to breakthrough archaic barriers.
New Bands, For Old Heads: we all get to a point in our lives where we stick with the music that makes us feel good, as well as plugged into an age that still resonates with us3. Gabbie, a music critic turned curator, is here to prove there’s a lot of new music worth getting into these days. Her perspective continually reminds me of how to approach restaurant folks who stay stuck in doing things a certain way because “that’s the way we’ve always done it”.
Dedicate Your Life to Music: if bands wanted to learn how to be a start up business, they would be well suited to hire Cassidy Frost. I say that as someone who worked in a technology start up, which went through two acquisitions. Cassidy is like your friend behind the stick at a corner bar, giving you shots of honesty rather than Jameson - when you come in complaining about your restaurant job for the millionth day in a row, except she does it for bands. And I’m always commenting on her posts “ … same for restaurants”, almost daily.
Social Media Escape Club: Seth Werkheiser helps people quit social media, and before you tune me out restaurant folks - let me ask you a question: how are you ensuring your social posts are converting to revenue? Oh what’s that, you don’t know - cool, then read Seth. Also if you’re a metal head, his pretty righteous experience in that genre and newsletters is worth checking out.
Getting into the New Rules
As the current news cycle is anything but slow, and you’re potentially not obsessed with all things New York - you may have missed New York Magazine’s Power Issue, which dove into the burning man situation of the media world. If you’re looking to get published or visibility on your writing, you don’t have to take it from me and my previous Hey Chef newsletter - instead read this one from Substack Co-founder and Chief Writing Officer - which exemplifies the enormous opportunities for folks to be their own media entity on the platform.
When it comes to restaurants and hospitality, here’s what it’s time for …
Gen X Come Through (and some of Y too): Ladies of these generations, it’s time to speak up more and tell your stories, rather than continuing to amplify the ones we’ve been conditioned into over the last twenty years in hospitality. The world, and especially the entertainment one loves to really start ignoring women after the age of forty-five until about women’s late sixties, when we’re viewed as less threatening. Again, all we have to do is look to music for examples of women as inspiration for continuing to tell their stories, whether the mainstream bites at first, at all or even potentially condemns: Alanis Morisette, Queen Latifah (the ultimate multi-hyphen), Susan Tedeschi, Neko Case, PINK!, Missy Elliot … there are many examples of women in their industry refusing to be ignored and it’s time to see the same in hospitality. If fear is stopping you, which is valid, drop me a line - in addition to building resources for restaurants at Aldea Hospitality - I’m also helping folks find their roadmap to a more sustainable life in the industry we love, by establishing multiple income streams.
Wine Writers 3.0: show me a wine pro who’s crafted at least a couple of lists, and I’ll show you a writer. Wine is in a wonky place right now, and we’re being told no one wants to drink it anymore - across multiple generations. At the end of this Sober October, I’ve got a some words coming for the wine world to sip on about changing perspectives and opportunities - in the interim here’s a newsflash: wine needs better story telling, from folks who have spent their lives dedicated to studying geography and farming practices, while learning the quirks and inside jokes of families across the globe - rather than old white guys, who haven’t worked a restaurant floor a day in their life. And Substack makes the barrier to entry so much lower for working class creatives to embrace the power of the pen, a la Blogger in the early 2000s.
Go Beyond Being the Story: I’ve been fortunate to have some of my career and work featured in national and local publications, for which I am grateful - and the restaurant and beverage industry is where it is today, thanks in part to many media features. I have profound respect for a lot of folks writing about food and beverage (even though the latter seems to be less and less). What I am saying in the New Rules, is in addition to being the story and having your work chronicled - everyday folks who love restaurants and wine and cocktails want to read more then your rosé recommendations every spring and we know this - because of the huge success of streaming shows, from sometimes very singular point of views. If you aren’t telling the stories, then you’re beholden to big conglomerate media companies cutting the beautiful words of the writer that did want to tell your deep story about the banks of the Douro River. Thankfully we’re now living in a world where you no longer have to wait for the phone to ring and email to show up to get those truly specials stories told.
Social Media is Sort of Dead: listen, if you’re a business you need a “listing” but that’s all social media is these days - the yellow pages, so make sure you’re listed and then get to engaging folks in a community around stories which deserve to be told - with an email list, on Substack. As Meta held a symposium in Chicago recently for how restaurants can make more money on social media, I was yet again clicking all the hearts to one of Cassidy’s Notes, because the below is one hundred percent true for restaurant, beverage and hospitality folks - especially in the age of the influencer.
Newsletters: hopefully the gps of this post won’t have the following feeling like a left turn: there is enormous revenue and engagement opportunities with newsletters in today’s media landscape. And let me follow by saying this - I’m not here to call your baby ugly. At the same time, a lot of restaurant newsletters - like current wine writing, need a serious overhaul. Yes, it’s great to tell guests about your specials for the month and weekend - but that’s about you and the goals for your business, it’s not about the reader. In addition to Book Now buttons and stylized food shots - put content in your newsletters that the reader cares about - behind the scenes that no influencer has access to, recipes and the inspirational stories that don’t fit on the menu, meet the winemaker before your upcoming wine dinner … the people signed up for your newsletter have given you permission to come into their inbox and they are much more likely to engage and spend money with your business then half of the forty likes you got on an Instagram post. Think about how you feel when receiving other restaurant newsletters, then take a hard look at yours and give it a spruce before the holidays. One more mini rule … the only thing worse then an unengaged newsletter is not having one at all. If you don’t have one and need some inspiration, the product we’re dropping in a few weeks is sure to get the creative juices flowing - but if you’re in need of a bit more support to get an easy revenue generator rolling, send us a note - newsletters are one of our passions.
While new product drops will absolutely be shared at The Luncheonette - if you want first crack at the Aldea community ➡️ get connected.
While the movie Alien in today’s value awareness perspectives has been interpreted as potentially controversial when it comes to feminism - many of the story lines from the 1986 film are still ones women deal with today, with restaurants being no exception. Lack of access in hospitality still very much exists on many levels and if folks, particularly women, embrace the New Rules there will be more than one Lieutenant Ripley seat and opportunities to actually build all those other, longer tables we’ve been hearing so much about, for years.
And actually goes back even further then 1986, to at least 1973 given the assault on women’s right to choose.
Worth noting, this is no man hating piece - love men, married to a man, awesome friends and colleagues who are men. It’s more so about reminding women to step into their power, rather then sit quietly when they know what needs to be said and done to implement change.
Example: how is 90s Hip Hop … THIRTY years old. OOf.
Quite thought provoking with a side of a challenge to “because it’s always been done that way”… nice one!
Super interesting read—with several topics woven together!